Domestic violence is often cited as a "women's issue," but one advocate and retired football player addressed high school students during a local summit about changing their mentalities.
“You can do something, and what I'm here to help you do is figure out, ‘how do we get that missing element?’ That missing element of men in that conversation.”
That's keynote speaker Don McPherson, speaking during this year's Teen Relationship Violence Awareness Summit at Buffalo History Museum.
While not personally a victim of domestic violence, McPherson has been working for 30 years to help change perceptions about domestic violence, following his days playing football for Syracuse University and the Hamilton Tiger-Cats.
The event's two other speakers, Ava Thomas and Kaitlyn Jorgensen, are domestic violence survivors who shared their own stories.
Hearing their stories increased how impactful the summit was, Williamsville South High School student Ayushi Sainath said.
“You can talk as much as you want on it," she said. "But when you have experience on it, you have an entirely different perspective, and hearing that changes a lot."
McPherson said there need to be more conversations because a lot of men don’t understand what a healthy relationship means.
“In many ways, it hasn't changed much," he said. "In many ways, we are still talking to boys and men about toxic masculinity, and expect them to eradicate rape culture, when we don't even talk to them about what healthy relationships look like.”
Hearing diversified viewpoints is helpful because not everyone’s circumstances are the same, Health Science Charter School student Jayden Gray said.
“I just like to stay mindful, that's really it, I just want to stay mindful," he said. "And I just keep an open mind into everybody's perspective, and I actually liked that (McPherson) came up and gave a different perspective.”
Men also have to be more willing to speak up, because too often they become silent in the face of domestic violence, McPherson said.
