By Joe Marren
Buffalo, NY – When James Lofton and "Joe D" were elected in January to the Pro Football Hall of Fame - and swelled the number of former Bills in it to, well, a handful - the talk around the chicken wing joints and Lipitor coolers was who would be next Bills alum invited to Canton. Maybe Andre? Thurman? Bruuuuu-ce?
But after Leslie Fiedler passed on to that great classroom in the sky, it made me ask myself (no one else was in hearing range), why don't we appreciate local stars in the arts or sciences more than the hired mercenaries who toil in The Ralph? Why aren't other Buffalonians in some Hall of Fame in their fields?
OK, sure, Herbert Hauptman won a Nobel Prize. But let's be honest, it's no big deal if you don't have a pocket protector endorsement. And after he won the big enchilada he didn't slam his Nobel to the ground, pump out his chest and strut around the stage. Big marketing mistake. You're a nobody on the celebrity after-dinner speaker circuit if you don't have a preening peacock victory dance or a rep. So Hauptman will never have the thrill of hearing 80,000 people chant "Her-BEE, Her-BEE" and he'll be ignored by all except those who understand what he does. How many people is that, you might ask rhetorically. Let's put it this way, how many people have you seen wearing No. 11 Johnson jerseys around town?
Here's another example: Wilson Greatbatch never broke down the ice as thousands rose to their feet in breathless anticipation to see if he could slip the pacemaker past the patent office and into the basket. He's a celebrity to his family, but that didn't get him comps to the Springsteen concert last year.
Kids don't gather on street corners and offer to barter arts trading cards. "Hey, I'll give you two Katharine Cornells for one Blossom Cohan," they would wrangle in a finer artsy world. Does anyone know someone who has a shirt with "JoAnn Faletta" stenciled across the back? No, me neither.
Yet those worthies I just mentioned are a fraction of Buffalonians who belong in a Hall of Fame. Who else deserves the honor? I'm glad I asked myself that. Here's my list:
Mary Talbert was a tireless campaigner for equal rights who stood up to the big shots in a world run by the male, pale and stale. Not only that, she had a great cameo in Lauren Belfer's "City of Light."
Mr. Fillmore would also make it. The only reason his birthday isn't a holiday is because people don't know if his first name is pronounced Mill-LARD or Mill-URD. He also had the handicap of having a birthday in January. In Buffalo. Get the picture? Anyway, he did more for Buffalo than Tony and Jimmy and Steve and their loyal minions combined.
I'd like to include Grover Cleveland, too. But first I'd have to have a heart-to-heart and ask him: "Big Steve, what's the fuss about? You were mayor, you were sheriff, you married a Buffalo gal. Howse come you never came home after your White House years?"
And speaking of ex-pats (the company, not the man), I'd induct any member of the Wells family who would move Wells-Fargo back home where it belongs.
There are more, of course, but part of the fun is letting just a few in each year and having the others stew and fall over themselves trying to be your friend. And to those folks I have just one thing to say: I love free fish fry dinners. You can pick the corner tavern any Friday night.
But the Hall dinner itself would have to be catered by Frank and Teressa's kin. And in the best of all possible worlds, M.C.'d (somehow) by the late, great Leslie Fiedler.
Commentator Joe Marren is an assistant professor of communications at Buffalo State.